“Most men care deeply about their families, their relationships, and their work. They don’t want to be in conflict, but sometimes their encoding gets in the way. The solution lies in becoming more self-aware,” says psychotherapist Jack Lafleur. Men governed by ancient instincts Lafleur has been a therapist for 17 years, and he also leads transformational workshops that kick-start men’s personal awareness. He explains, “When men withdraw from situations, their partners tend to think they don’t care. The real reason is that some men don’t want to say or do something they’ll regret—because, in general, men do care.” According to Lafleur and others who share his view, when men face conflict they may revert to their reptilian brain, the home of their fight-flight-freeze encoding. Adrenalin pumps through their bodies, the jaw and upper arms tighten, and fists form. That’s how they survived on the savannah 65,000 years ago. “Men,” Lafleur explains, “are to some extent still governed by instinct.” The solution is to manage our reactions by “learning to operate from the frontal lobes of our brain, where we think through solutions.” Conflict is natural Conflicts erupt in most relationships: between lovers, among colleagues and friends, between teachers and students,… Read full this story
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